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| happy day that we first met....
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| "there is always a reason to dance"
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| its been some time since i have posted on here
not that i didn't have things to say
i just haven't known exactly how to say certain things
my life has shifted and with change there is always a certain amount of uncertainty
i'm re-starting school in the fall.
this time with a concentration on early childhood education.
it seems odd to be going back with a totally different directive
i've always been in school for children's ministry or biblical studies
i feel like i'm diving in to icy water
i'll rebegin the week after i return from a three week trip
that in itself is stressful...
i have so many thoughts about school- and new beginnings
i've wanted this for some time now, to go back, to begin pursuing a new degree
i guess it is the thought of going back full-time that is weighing down on me
i wonder sometimes if i still have the knack for school that i did before
not that i haven't been studying, but it has always been unconventional study- online
or late at night, buried under a mountain of CEF paperwork
this is going to be a real challenge and one that i haven't fully wrapped my mind around yet
i better do it soon, all my money is due this week.
i have to praise the Lord for providing all the money i need for school and books this semester
one of my conditions for going back is that school would not put me in debt
i'm thankful that since making the step toward debt free living that the Lord has always provided
i mentioned previously a three week long sabbatical (from charlotte)
the 22nd i will leave for chicago on a trip for CEF
i have yet to get my team assignment yet
although i am banking on the fact that spencer (foster) and i will be working together
i've never been to chicago and have always had the desire to go
i'm excited about the new opportunities that lay before me
and having uninterrupted time to spend with the CEF family for so long
i'm praying for the children and churches we reach out to
above all i want to be effective
effective for the children, effective for the churches, and effective for the ministry
i want to walk away knowing that i did all i could for the cause of christ while there
in speaking of doing all for christ possible-
in may i began to become burdened more deeply for the ministry of CEF
the sheer number of children we are not reaching out to in this are began weighing heavily on my heart
and in my prayer times i couldn't shake the feeling that the Lord was saying to me that i was not doing enough
that idea scared me quite honestly
i was already committing every spare hour i could to CEF in the middle of a very hectic schedule
but that faint whisper kept coming back
it wasn't until a week or so before camp that i understood what the Lord had been saying along-
"your tent making is drawing to a close"
i went to camp seeking the Lord about leaving Habitat and once again committing to full-time CEF service
this decision wouldn't come lightly, i am not up to full support, and quite frankly, i need the money that is coming in from Habitat to make ends meet sometimes.
"Lord" i prayed "I have sought your face in terms of my finances and asked you, God, that with your strength that i would no longer be bound or in debt to anyone, except in love. what are you doing? i don't know if i can make this jump and this leap back in to full-time service, God will the money be there? will you open the door for new contacts? that's always been my problem, contacts, and things have not improved much. God am i hearing you?"
peace.
you know what i am talking about the peace that "surpasses all understanding"
i felt nothing but peace when i thought of giving up my tenting making assignment at Habitat
last week i turned in my two week notice. i will no longer be employed with Habitat as of the nineteenth
am i nervous, yes. do i have all the answers, no.
but i do have the peace of God and the assurance of knowing that my God says to me:
"when you seek me, you will find me,"
"i will supply all your needs according to the richness and mercy in Christ Jesus,"
"for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future,"
and "all things work together for the good of those who love Him: to those who love God and are called according to His purpose"
without knowing where this road is going to take me
i'm standing at a place of total dependence
and i like it that way
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| i took a dive yesterday i had previously been putting off
and now it has started this snowball effect
here's to new challenges
cheers
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| below is an actual conversation between adam and i yesterday
"i have a lot to do this week"
"yes, like packing...for conference"
"yes, i have to pack"
"and you have to try on every outfit, with jewelry, and shoes,
and pack them up just so, and bring an extra shirt- that will match with everything
JUST IN CASE you happen to spill something on your shirt; then you'll have a backup"
"actually i bring two extra shirts for that purpose"
the packing process really is that intense- he wasn't exaggerating
i started laundering today so that everything would be clean by tonight
the whole process can then begin
i should be done by friday- hopefully
i can only imagine how long it is going to take me for chicago...
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